He said it (silly thoughts)

He says he loves me and I believe him. People don’t just look at everyone like that, I am special to him. I can feel it.

He wants to take it slow, that’s fine with me. As long as we are together it makes no difference. What’s a few months compared to a lifetime of happiness with him? There’s no one better for me.

We are now more intimate or at least I think so, unless the sex is just that to him. It cannot be, he loves me. He said it.

He was to call or text, it’s been three days; am confused and worried. Three days is a short while but what if something has happened to him? No, he must just be busy. I’ll wait for his call, I won’t disturb him.

I’ve been told he was with another woman. He said she’s just a friend. I want to believe him, I have to believe him.

We never go out any more, we are always indoors. Any communication prior to our meetings always seem like a booty call. Am I being paranoid? Am not sure, most likely. He wants and loves me, he implies it.

Thought the booty calls were a stumbling block that we could overcome. It’s more of a plateau, we are stuck here.

I need to talk to him about this, but how do I do that without scaring him away. He will think am needy or clingy, I don’t want that. Let me give him more time, he is bound to realize that I am good for him.

He posted pictures of him and some women, in a sexually compromising setting, online. It feels like am dying on the inside.

My friends think am being stupid but who hasn’t love made stupid? I won’t ask him about the pictures. I’ll be cool when I see him, everyone wants a chill girlfriend. That sounded stupid even to me.

Another booty call passed and he still hasn’t said a word about us. It’s time I asked the question, “What are we?”

(Crying hysterically) Apparently taking it slow had turned into us being friends with benefits and I was the last to know. I thought he loved me, was he lying or did the love fade away? It’s all too painful.

I think I can still get him back. I am being stupid again, I never really had him. I’ll get high, maybe cry myself to sleep and miss work.

It’s been a week, the creep hasn’t even called once to check up on me. He’s probably laughing at how stupid I was. The mere thought of that riles me up. How could I have been so desperate for love?

Hospital appointments here and there, who knows what kind of diseases he might have given me; herpes is for life.

Am too ashamed to even face my friends. Months of stupidity and not listening to their pieces of advice must have changed their view of me. I shall not think about it, it could be worse.

*Hope this fictional piece was a good read.

WELCOME.jpg

Love yourself, nobody will love you better or more than you. Never make excuses for people and know when to say, “Boy bye”.

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