Projection

I haven’t posted much recently but I do not really have a fan base…so who cares? Right? I’m going to tell you why anyway. Early this year the lectures were on strike (blame it on the Kenyan government) which left me with a lot of free time and since I wasn’t home I got to explore my laziness to an unreal capacity. I even almost got into a relationship, talk about being idle (my mind believes I have no time). Then there was school and all the stress that comes with it, specific to certain courses of course, not sure what happens in courses like Leisure Management. Other than that, it was life just kicking me while I was already down; my phone got stolen, not uncommon in Nairobi but still depressing. In general I haven’t posted much due to sheer laziness, could have just said that but am wordy.

On to the main thing, projection (check the link to know more about it). It is a coping mechanism people unknowingly employ that enables them to repress whatever feelings they subconsciously do not want to acknowledge by attributing them to others. I believe every single person has some sort of insecurity or flaw be it physical, psychological or behavioural but if you have none, good for you (all hail the perfect ones). How you deal with what society or you yourself consider a flaw is really what matters. You could let it deter you from whatever it could deter you from or deal with it in a suitable manner. Sadly most of us don’t acknowledge our shortcomings but that is the first step to wellness. So what you have a small dick? Good things come in small packages or so I’ve heard. (Inappropriate humour anyone…not okay? Okay.) An example, in a relationship one might think that his or her partner is unfulfilled but in real sense be the one with the problem of unfulfillment or fear that he or she is not satisfying the partners needs.

Dramatic flair on: It was a sunny day like no other, beautiful in every aspect of the word, which put me in a particularly jolly mood. My whole being was beaming with delight as the exhilarating rays graced my African skin through the window. A skirt seemed fit for the day and as my extraordinarily fashionable existence deemed it necessary, my whole outfit had to be fabulous and so it was. I was exuding brilliance and the mirror concurred. (Writing all that took unimaginable energy, back to my normal self).
I went out to meet a friend and she asked me if I was comfortable, but she wasn’t asking because of how short my skirt was. Her facial expression screamed approval but her words not so much “You look good but I can see your scars.” Backhanded compliments here and there. “You should wear longer skirts.” She always covers her legs because of her almost non-existent scars, which to her might as well be visible from a mile away, so basically not doing the same disturbed something in her. Trying to make us insecurity buddies was not okay. I am not going to hide my well-shaped legs (let no one try to confirm that) because I played way too much and roughly as a kid.

Bear with me, am about to veer off topic. As a child, at a period when children still had active childhoods, I got hurt a lot. There’s some sort of excitement I get from narrating how I got my scars but I will employ self-control and stop here. That friend of mine was directing something that bothered her about herself to me, most likely projecting unconsciously. Many of us do project, we just rarely realize it, so you should be able to  decipher whether someone’s criticism is really about you or just a projection of their own issues. If it’s the latter dodge it like a bullet (“Oh! There’s a bullet heading my way, that sniper won’t get me.” He jumps and dodges the bullet…watched a show, Myth Busters, they proved you generally can’t just dodge a bullet not that it wasn’t known; let movies not fool you). Parents may project some of their weaknesses or bad experiences onto their children. A mother who has had bad experiences with men may project that onto her daughter and raise her to think that no man will ever value her for whatever reason. Basically, be mindful of how people interact with you in order to avoid carrying their crosses, we can’t all be Jesus.

Dr. Google informed me of a kind of projection “If I can do it, others can as well”. I probably think like that at times especially when one of my sisters asks for help but she asks for help even when it’s not necessary (nonetheless I shall evaluate myself). We tend to project unknowingly but after you get informed about it, which is easy because of the internet, you are able to minimize it if not stop it. You will realize that some of the problems you have with other people’s characters are somewhat your own. Read on projection and better yourself, being self-aware betters human interaction and knowing yourself, both your strengths and weaknesses, sets you on a path towards happiness.

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