You have a right to be sad

I normally feel tired and not tired in a physical sense. I feel my heart is tired and in a way that is not attached to love (people ignore science so much) but in a purely biological way. It has been tired for the longest while now. I wish I could turn it off for about two years which would mean death and since I haven’t heard of any modern-day resurrections it’s not an option. I still haven’t given up on life completely. Are you depressed if you can still paint a smile on your face and care about trivial things?

We are all different so things do not affect each one of us in the same way. I feel like I say that a lot but it is worth repeating. When it comes to sadness many of us seem to be ashamed or afraid of accepting it because of how we or others perceive it. Some people see it as weakness, a mere cry for attention or a kind of ungratefulness because you’re unhappy yet you have what others might not, like: a family, friends, the “good life”, money, fame, a beautiful face, a great body etc.

People will tell you or you will tell yourself that there are others who have it worse than you so you have no right to be sad, which is wrong. There will always be someone who has it worse than you. It is essential to be aware that others have it worse than you and that should keep you grateful for all the good that you have in your life. Nonetheless, never let that make you disregard your own sadness. Keeping it in will not make it go away. Nobody likes feeling unpleasant feelings but if they come, let them come then let them go.

There might always be those happier than you and when you’re feeling happy that will not make your happiness any less real and the same goes for sadness. Suppressing your feelings won’t make you happy nor will it make those less fortunate than you happy. So you might as well feel it, cry if you have to. You feel like crying over your deadbeat ex? Do it. You feel like sobbing over your cheating girlfriend? Do it. Your repressed feelings will not feed the hungry nor will it raise the dead. It’s okay to feel your negative emotions.

Sadness is not a weakness; even the strongest among us get sad and maybe scream, punch things or cry. You are not weak if your circumstance, a situation or someone makes you sad. You are not weak if you cry every other day in the middle of the night (you might be depressed though). We do not get to choose most of what we feel. In life there are ups and downs; when you’re up be merry and rejoice, when you’re down accept and work through it. That’s being strong. Feigning happiness won’t do you any good.

“Happiness is a choice.” Some of the people I’ve heard saying that imply that one just chooses to be happy and all of a sudden happiness coats your life with all its goodness but that isn’t the case (some of them are probably in denial). Telling someone that he or she is sad because he or she chooses to is not right unless the person has a tendency to wallow in sadness. Yes, happiness is a choice in some way but there are processes to everything and it is okay if your process involves sadness; it’s okay if you have to cry so that you can laugh. Feel it fully, know why you’re feeling it and deal with it so you can go about your life.

 

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